Oh, hello People.
So just in case you missed it…..
David and I are pleased to announce that we are excited to be expecting our first baby in early May! We couldn’t be more thrilled to be on this adventure together. It’s already been full of ups and downs and we have found ourselves in a beautiful, vulnerable state that has already changed us for the better.
For those who have been asking, it was bit of a planned surprise. We had been been planning to get pregnant, but the timing of it caught us a bit off guard. After a few failed attempts, we decided to put the process on hold until after we can back from our vacation in September. We had planned a 5 day cruise and I was nervous enough about being on a boat on the open sea, I didn’t want to worry about feeling sick from the pregnancy.
So wouldn’t you know it- as soon as we stopped making an effort, things seemed to fall right into place!
I had taken a pregnancy test right before we left just to be sure and got a big, fat negative. We were actually crashing our friends’ babymoon and they knew we had been trying so once we got to our first stop and Addie noticed I was enjoying a mojito at the bar, she asked how things were going. After telling her I had a negative test but was still a few days late, she insisted we go to the drug store and pick up another test just to be sure.
Next morning, I woke up and made my way to our closet of a bathroom. I haphazardly peed on both tests at once convinced that they would both pop up negative. Low and behold, about five seconds left, they both came up with the boldest blue positive symbols!
*Sidebar- if you ever take a pregnancy test, don’t be anal about it. I was for about the first ten I took. Making sure I timed the seconds of urine exposure, covered the end with its special cap, laid it perfectly flat…ok, ok- I even ripped open the digital ones to see the strip with my own eyes because the Internet told me to. None of this is necesary people. If you’re pregant, you’ll know it. Also, don’t spend $10 per test. The $1.99 ones from the drugstore are the same thing and don’t lie. Sidebar closed.*
After checking that I had read the test correctly (maybe 10-15 times….Again, people- this is not rocket science. A postive sign means year, a negative one means no.), I sat there in a stunned silence. I remember laughing to myself a little and then was immediately excited to tell David.
So it turns out, our vacation ended up being a babymoon for us too!
I’m definitely planning to chronicle the last 17 weeks with you all, but I did find myself needing to take a break from the Internet for a while. I was suddenly very overwhelmed with the thought of being a mother and to be honest, I wanted a bit of a hideaway for a time. We have so many dear friends who have had difficult pregnancies that have ended suddenly and I really wanted a time of sanctuary to love on our tiny one and pray for all the small moments of development happening. It was also really hard not talking about it so I found it easier to just keep away from Internet diaries for a while. I don’t like keeping secrets from people and whenever I sat down to write, I found myself with no words. Well, no valuable words.
I’ve always promised that this would be a place of honesty and depth. Without being able to talk about my news, I felt like I was left with superficial conversations about topics I honestly wasn’t even interested in. All I wanted to do was work on creating a safe nesting place for my little one to grow in and I suddenly lost interest in recipes, outfits and decorating. Don’t get me wrong, I still love those things and will be happy to share about them soon, but at the time, all I could focus on was this tiny life inside me.
So don’t you worry. I’m back and will be sharing a lot more with you! I’m excited to be on this journey and am looking forward to sharing it with all of you. But, I am asking for grace in the process. Like I said, I’ve had some good and some bad days and sometimes, the bad ones string together leaving me tired and lacking in energy. My goal is consistency, but in all honesty, it will really depend on how I’m feeling day to day.
It is good to be back, though. Me and little talking to you guys about the ins and outs of life.
Until next time!
Photos by Autumn Kern Photo