First let me say a big thanks to We are the Kerns for working with me on new portraits! I will be working with them in the next few months on some special projects and I couldn’t be happier.
Well, last month I turned 26. Which means I’m one the “closer-to-the-big-3-0-mark” side of things. I had a moment during my birthday week when I was humming while folding laundry, excited about special dinners and pretty packages (don’t pretend like gifts don’t make you’re little heart sing too!) when it hit me. On my long term life goal list (who sticks to these things anyways??), I had stated that I would have two kids before I was thirty. I always thought I would be a young mom, but no that I’m facing a four year deadline, I’m wondering what on planet earth I was thinking! Well, let me clarify, the idea of kids doesn’t fully terrify me, but the idea that I’m running out of time on my perfect life time line sure does!
So I’m at that age. The age where birthdays are squeezed into hectic schedules, where gifts are grown up and cake is sacrificed for healthier options. My sweet husband took my out for a little handbag shopping this year. I rolled my eyes at myself wandering around, judging pieces by their functionality. It’s no longer about what’s pretty but practical (well, a bit of pretty is good too). I finally chose my favorite and David added in a couple of treats he picked out. He went out and found the blush I purchased on our honeymoon a couple of years ago and chose a necklace he thought looked like me. How sweet is his little face??
I’m feeling more and more grounded as I get older. While I always feared the idea of settling down, I’m becoming more and more attached the idea. I find myself planning ahead for the future while focusing on things like house keeping and general well-being in our little family. At the end of the day I wonder where this age has taken me- and where my next few years are going to bring me.
It’s funny, when you’re in your twenties, people tell you it’s the time of your life to enjoy yourself before you get old. But now, I find myself enjoying the simple parts of mine more than the idea of acting below my age to hide the fact that I’m moving forward. I lean towards the idea of saving for a year to take a trip to Europe rather than frolicking out every night blowing money on drinks and over priced dinners. I think there’s beauty in that though, right?
Over the past few years I have watched friends expand their families with wee ones. As I watched from the sidelines I felt myself making lists of things I wanted to get done before I became a mom. I’m the kind of person who needs to be prepared for anything I do. From a trip to the grocery store to planning out our weeks, I like to know that I’m ready for what’s coming next. So maybe that’s why I’ve dropped off of the “how-twenty-something’s-act” radar. Maybe that’s why I find solace in mastering a weekly meal plan, getting my home organized and making pretty things for our little nest. Maybe.
Whatever it is, I am beginning to feel more and more like an adult. It’s funny how life just kind of shoves you right off that cliff. Insurance, 401k’s, Social Security, budgets- the list doesn’t seem to want to end. However, after all the paperwork is done and the dust settles, I find myself feeling proud. Proud of the progress I’ve made in just a few short years. When I was 21, I remember sitting in my bedroom at my parents’ house thinking I was never going to move forward. I was never going to find people who got me, I would never find someone to love me, I would never get up and get going. But after 5 short years, I’m on the other side. I’m married to my favorite person, surrounded by people who are quick to tell me they love me, and blessed to be working at home where I feel the most comforted. None of this would have happened without putting in the hard work. Progress means growth. It means pushing through all the moments lacking in fun towards the promise of something better.
So, no I’m 26 and pushing harder than ever. While I look ahead and wonder what is around the next twists and turns, I look with excitement. Because the last time I was this unsure about life, I was right on the cusp of my whole future changing in just a few short months. So I can’t even imagine the beautiful changes that are about to overtake my life now. While I’m 26 and closer than ever to 30, I’m glad. I’m glad to be facing down life armed with the knowledge that with a bit of work and pushing, life will certainly surprise me.
Until next time!